I have learned so many important lessons during Fischer’s first year of life – aka, my first year of motherhood. At times, being a mom can make you feel secluded or alone, but mostly this year I’ve felt in many ways like I’ve joined this society of strong, capable, wise and resilient women. Giving birth to your first baby is kind of its own induction into a group of people who, through their individual stories and experiences, join millions of other women who can relate to something so tender and personal. It’s pretty cool when you think about it. Actually – it’s pretty freakin’ awesome.
Here’s a list of things I’ve learned during this past year.
By Bye Modesty
Everyone says it, but it’s so true. After you’ve had a baby, all notions of modesty really do fly out the window. I was raised to be fairly modest growing up. I was banned by my parents from wearing 2 piece swimsuits until I was in high school and, generally gravitate towards clothing that leans toward the looser, full coverage side. However, by the umpteenth OBGYN appointment and of course the birthing process in general – a lot of those modesty notions that were ingrained for 27+ years were pretty much undone for good.
It’ll Pass
There are days – especially in the first few months – where it seems like you’re just sort of stuck. Stuck in sleepless nights. Stuck in inadequate latching. Stuck in lack of routine. Stuck in irritability. But there is hope and it’s important to remember that, in each hard phase whether it lasts 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months.. it’ll pass. Fischer went through a horrible sleep regression. But we figured it out. He also had trouble gaining weight at the beginning which prolonged our need to wake him up every 3 hours until well past the normal 6 week mark. But that passed too. It’s all about keeping things in perspective and remembering that getting to be a part of each phase is the joy of motherhood and such a gift that’s been bestowed upon each of us!
Mommin’ Ain’t Easy
Babies are wonderful and exciting and adorable. Those two pink lines on a pregnancy test bring with them the excitement of nursery decorating and tiny clothes buying and the joy of choosing the perfect name. But what’s often not talked about or focused on is the other side of things. The challenges of pregnancy and the effects it has on your mind, body and soul. The grueling sleepless nights. The realization at the beginning (especially if you’re breastfeeding) that your body is no longer your own. Your life, really, is no longer your own. From the moment they’re born there will forever be a person who depends on you and in those early days that can be a lot to adjust to. About 2 weeks after having Fischer I remember talking to my mom and just telling her ‘thank you’ because with a new baby came the realization that mothers sacrifice so much. It definitely bestowed a new sense of gratitude for me towards my own mama.
Me Time
I learned this year just how important a little ‘me time’ is. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, just something that helps fill your cup so you can, in turn, fill the cups that belong to your family members. I remember the first time I left Fisch at home with Garrett. It was a Saturday morning and I simply left the house to get a cup of coffee and walk around Target by myself. It was glorious and it helped so much to sort of reset.
You are Your Baby’s Biggest Advocate
Nobody knows your baby better than you do – and that includes healthcare professionals, book authors and other moms. I’ve learned that you can gather so much wisdom from those around you, but when it comes down to it, every baby is different and you know yours better than anyone.
DO NOT COMPARE
The last one on the list, but I think it may be the most important. In a world where we are so easily sucked into comparison, motherhood is such an important area of our lives where comparison to other moms must not be allowed in. While the word ‘mom’ spans a pretty uniform sect of people, each mother is so uniquely different. We all handle situations differently. We all grew up with different examples set forth for us by our parents and we all are in charge of little people that have their own sets of wants, needs and preferences. I think it’s so important for us moms to be supportive without pushing our own opinions or judging others and theirs!
How about you guys? What are some lessons you learned during (or are currently learning) your first year as a mom?
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